Insomnia ramblings

Well. It’s not exactly insomnia. I ended up sleeping most of the day so now I’m paying for that.

I tried to work some overtime today but my body would not stop hurting so I came back home and just slept it off. I wish I could find a good job like the one I have but have it either be closer to where I live or a work from home sort of deal. I’m not really doing good with the commute.

I have made some progress on the Village story I’m writing. Started on Part Two. I wish I had some more time to work on it. But writing feels so… it feels like I’m just going through the motions. Almost everything is feeling that way. I’m in the midst of a mental health episode that’s like wicked bad but it’s not really hurting anyone so I guess I’m okay with what’s going on.

Miss Murder Kitty is still pissed about the kitten. She’s peed on my bed again. I’ve given up on the bed and probably will just have to go without one. It’s not the worst thing in the world.

Miss Murder Kitty after she peed on my bed again.

Today I’m planning on making a pork loin in the slow cooker for me and the kids. I’m going to try to see if I can get some meat for stew as well. I only have like $10 left for the week so we’ll see.

I want to make a few other things as well but my brain is firmly set on clean mode which lets me know I’m having a manic episode. Which. Well. It’s fine. I’ll deal with it. I think I need to look into how much a cleaning person would cost. It would probably be good for me to be able to relax. I need to relax.

Me and my good boy.

New Kitty and Lots of Laundry…

It’s Sunday again!

This week was busy with me working extra hours again at work.  I think I need to find something to do on the side on the weekends so that I don’t have to do extra hours.  It just really really tires me out.  Something that I can do from home or something because I just don’t think I have the energy to go out and work a second job when I can barely do the first one.

Anyway, this week I brought home a new kitty.  Miss Murder Kitty is not happy about this development and has let me know so by peeing on the bed – while I was laying in it.  She’ll get over herself eventually.  I hope.  But I’m also so amused by how dramatic she is being.  The kitten is a good boy though.  He’s pressing his boundaries with her a little, but he is giving her space and is pretty much ignoring her.  The dramatics are very much one sided.

Because Murder Kitty peed the bed, I had to do laundry.  It took about three hours, but I managed to do the huge backlog of laundry I’d been putting off doing.  I finished the five load but now have to fold and put away everything.

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Yesterday my daughter and I went grocery shopping together.  She got her own groceries but also we picked out a few things for me to make for prep meals.  I’ve currently got meatballs in the slow cooker with grape jelly, ketchup, and bbq sauce.  I’m going to make rice to go with it and that will be dinner.

She helped me prep my lunches for this week.  I have little cups made that have salami and ham in them.  I bought some string cheese to go with those.  There is yogurt.  Crackers.  Also mini packs of cookies and chocolates.  Mostly healthy.  Mostly nutritious.  Will make the day easier by having snacks handy.  Right now I end the day by eating a few Sour Patch Kids to keep up my blood sugars before I drive home.  Not the best.

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I’ve only managed to write half a page this week.  I know that I  need to be easy on myself with this process but I wish I had more time to write.  I was gone for over 14 hours a day this week and it just made for no time to do anything.  I’m so tired.  I’m hoping to get a little more written today but I’m not sure.

Well, that’s my update for now.  Maybe will post some kitten pics later.  I posted a few on my instagram.  You can find me under @M_is_for_Mo.

Always busy it seems…

I spent most of my waking hours today driving around to stores to get what I needed to make my meals for this week.  My daughter asked for some chili and we both wanted meatballs.  I also decided to make some spaghetti sauce for the winter as well.  My sauce is always different because I cook it based on what I have available to me, so sometimes it tastes better.  Right now it’s too acidic so it may take longer to cook as I even out the flavor.  I still have to cook up some chicken and veggies for us this week as well.

I worked some over time hours this week at my job and will be doing a lot more next week as well.  The extra money is going towards my savings account that I’m trying to establish at a credit union, but they need all kinds of information from me just to be able to apply for the account.  I’m hoping to have a good chunk saved up towards my $1,000 goal by the end of the month.  Hopefully my body will cooperate.  I’ve already missed a day due to being in so much pain I was near tears if I had to sit in one spot for more than five minutes.

Last week I wrote about a page and a half.  This week I’m hoping to get a bit more done.  I’m also hoping to work on some stuff for my Patreon.  I’m always so tired, I think my chronic fatigue is kicking up and it’s so not a good time for it.  I have a long list of things that need to be done.  But I’m hoping to get at least 3 pages written this week.  I really need to just sit down and write a bit while I’m on my breaks at lunch.  I’m going to try to remember that this week.

I hope to have some writing to post for everyone soon.  And I hope I have something more exciting to write about next week.  Maybe I’ll post my meat ball recipe or something.

Stew

I made a stew for dinner as I’ve been cutting back on eating to save money. After two weeks of this, I was so hungry I was getting angry and irritable. And my muscles were starting to twitch from lack of red meat. So I took some money and decided stew would probably provide the most servings that I’d eat more than once.

I had read somewhere about using tomato paste in stew. Also to thicken with corn starch. I used veg brought from my local farm stand and the local butcher provided me with the beef. I also used sweet potatoes as they are healthier.

All local produce and meat.

I usually use onion flakes instead of real onions. So today was a treat. I also seasoned with pepper, salt, paprika, and parsley. I used my slow cooker on high for three hours.

Final product. Filter curtesy of my Instagram.

It’s been so long since I’ve made a decent stew. So good. I’m freezing some for later. I’m so happy this came out good. What is something that you like to make?

What’s on the Agenda for this week?

For the sake of getting back into a groove, here is what my week looks like this week:

Day job work:

This week I’m working Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Doesn’t look bad, a nice short week for me.  I took Thursday off to hang out with my girlie as it will be a rough day for her.  And I totally forgot that I get most holidays off now.  With pay!

Writing Goals:

  • One more blog post written.
  • Two pages in my Village story.
  • Possibly take a look at Lacey’s story again.

This weeks menu:

  • Roasted veggies with
    • kielbasa
    • chicken
    • pasta?
  • Leftover frozen pizza
  • Spam sandwiches
  • For snacks
    • chips and homemade dip
    • pretzel crips
    • yogurt

I do need to figure out a way to get in some light exercising, but I do a lot of cleaning so I think that counts.  I’m leaning towards going to a more veggie based diet, which will be interesting because it seems my muscles twitch more when I eat less beef.  I may have to make an exception there.  The problem is that I’m allergic to nuts so I’m not sure how else to get protein.  I’m open to ideas.

So I hope to have one more post up this week but honestly, trying to get things done is a struggle for me right now.   I’ll hopefully have something new up soon!

Lots and lots and lots of stuff and things

I failed to keep up with regular updates again and I apologize.  I really do wonder if my inability to follow through is linked to the bipolar and the TBI.  I wish I had a doctor that I could ask about that but every time I try to get some answers the doctors are quick to push my concerns aside.

Anyway.

So I got a new job.  I’m no longer in retail.  The job does require a lot of training, and then I’ll be working as a Student Loan Associate.  Basically I’ll counsel borrowers and help bring accounts current, but I’m not a debt collector.  My commute is now an hour long, each way, but I think I’ll adjust to it quickly.  I’m super excited to no longer be working late nights.

This job also means I’ll have a secondary insurance, so I’m hoping to get some mental health care finally.  Also it should mean that I’m able to get ALL the medical care I need with minimal out of pocket costs.

Oh and the pay.  It’s only about 70 cents more than I was making before BUT it’s a guaranteed 40 hour work week.  Plus possibility of over time.  Which is HUGE.  Also I get paid holidays.  I have today off to celebrate the Fourth Of July but I have nothing to do because all my friends are still working, and I don’t have any other friends really.

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Writing’s been slow and I’m trying to get back in the swing of doing it.  Even with all this good news going on, I’ve been not well.  WP thinks that there is a real good chance that I’m in a depressed episode.  All I want to do is sleep.  Or stare at walls.  I’m so tired all the time.  I just want to do something fun with people but I don’t even know what I want to do, so it’s pointless to ask anyone if they want to go do something.

I may have been slightly triggered by an event that affected my sister and her husband, but it’s not about me, and I’m trying to take that trigger and focus the energy elsewhere.  She’s going to read this so I’m not saying what I’m doing!  Ha!!  They did also just buy a house so she’s going to get a double surprise!!  Don’t worry Sis!  I’m not coming down.  Yet.

But the writing is harder to do lately, it feels like when I was on psych medication.  I can’t think and it’s making me super antsy.  I think I just need to go out and do things.  My therapist used to tell me to make plans with friends. I’d always laugh at him when he suggested that.

I’ve kind of abandoned the serial I was writing, I’ve found something I like more until I hit the wall.  Possibly will have more of one of them soon.  I’m hoping at least.

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I’ve been cooking up a storm so I’ll share some of what I’ve made in some posts later.  I’ll have to remember to set them up.

 

I hope you all have a great day celebrating!  I’ll talk to you all soon.

So tired…

Does anyone else deal with extreme fatigue all the time?  It’s like no matter how much sleep I get, or how much I rest, or take vitamins, I feel like I’m tired all the time.  Not always mentally, most of the time it feels like I’ve run a marathon or something.

I have no idea what is causing this.  I wondered if it was due to my muscles constantly twitching and such, but the neurologist didn’t say much about this.  He said that I probably have benign fasciculation syndrome but didn’t do much except write a letter to my GP and she has yet to address it.

My liver enzymes are also high due to the NASH, but again, I’m not sure if that is causing the fact that I’m tired.  All the time.

I spend all my energy working, or doing other things that at the end of the day, or really a few hours after waking, I’m too exhausted to do anything that I want or like to do.  I haven’t gotten a lot of writing done, nor have I been able to get my own personal errands done.  It sucks.

If anyone has any ideas on how to combat this fatigue, I’d love to hear them.  Just drop them in the comments!

It’s been a while….

It’s been a while since I posted.  My day job got real busy and I did two weeks of working overnight doing a tool reset in the store.  That kind of threw me off since I do most of my work here in the evenings.

I kind of stalled on Lacey’s story.  I’m not sure where to go with it, my direction was clearly not going to work by the time I started to write the third installment.  I’m not sure what to do about that.

On the other hand, I’ve been working nonstop on another idea.  It’s coming together rather nicely I think.

I also started an Instagram account.  It’s mostly just the food I eat/make, and my cat.  If you’re interested, it’s @m_is_for_mo.

I will hopefully be updating again soon!

 

Money may be tight but I still eat well

The other night I made fajitas. I was wanting tacos, but since I had onions, peppers, and precooked chicken strips, I decided on the fajita kit. I picked up sour cream and cheese. Cost maybe $5 total. I got two meals out of it. I got a bunch of yogurts at $.50 each, so I’ve been adding that with meals.

I’ve also been making sandwiches. Deli meat on store baked country bread. I’ve been cutting the meals in half and then eating it with a yogurt. I also have cut up slices of cucumber to eat with the sandwiches.

I’m working on making sure I have good nutritious meals that don’t cost a lot. I do shop at a store that’s considered pricy, but I use the store’s loyalty program and coupons. This store doubles coupons under a dollar. I also don’t buy a lot from the middle aisles. Fresh veg, meats, and dairy are my main buys. Then I usually will see what I have coupons for before I hit the middle aisles. Frozen helps as well.

But just because that works for me doesn’t mean that it works for everyone. It’s taken me years to reach being able to do this. I just know I have to eat better, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do.